The Klingon Bible

I think we all have our favorite translation of the Bible.  When reading for personal enjoyment, mine is the ‘Message’ translation.  For doctrine I lean toward the NKJV.  To be sure, people can become quite protective of their favorite version and/or translation.

Since the Gutenburg Bible rolled off the presses in 1455, the Word has been translated into more than 260 languages, including at last count more than 20 different versions on English alone.  But one translation of which i’ve never heard is the Klingon Bible?  Yes, that’s right, the Klingon Bible.  If you’re familiar with Star Trek lore, you will recognize the Klingon reference to an fictional race of people.  In Klingon John 3:16, “For God so loved…” might read “toH qo’ muSHa…”*  True Trekkies believe that one day the Word of God will be read by this imaginary tribe of people living on a distant planet.  This would certainly make God’s Word universal.  However, from my point of view, these Star Trek translators should “get a life!”

It was the end of a long week of public appearances, my last scheduled presentation.  A man in the audience began heckling me, interruption at every turn. When he rose to his feet and pointed out that I often quoted from the New International Version he added, “Don’t you think God wants us to stick with the King James Version?”

My brain was exhausted.  All I wanted to do was wrap up my presentation and go home.  Instead I gave him the most gracious smile I could muster and replied, “God desires you to read His Word.  I don’t think He cares what virgin you use.”

Oops!  My slip of the tongue brought down the house.  Laughter rang off the walls and the ceiling of the auditorium.  I blushed a crimson red.  With the grace of God, I managed to end my talk and close with prayer.

James 3:2 NIV says, “We all stumble in many ways,”–some of us a little more publicly than others.  I wish my mispronunciation of version was the worst example of unwise choice of words.  Too often it isn’t the accidental word choice but the ones that slip out in anger or judgement that do the most damage.  How about you?  Got control of your pesky tongue?  If so, let me know how you did it.

*Uncle John’s Gigantic Bathroom Reader. page 360.





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